You won't believe what I just found out! Ladies and men children, I'm embarrassed to say that I do NOT have I.B.S! No sir! I'm just plain olde CONSTIPATED! Yeah that's right, just constipated. I thought I was in with the cool kids, a group I belonged to. But this is a tale that even John Hughes(RIP) didn't see coming. I myself, am my own turd. Metaphorically and literally.
I was over my sister's place, and she asked me, "Lizzie, I've been reading your blog. Do you really have I.B.S.?", and I was like, "Yeah, jealous! Don't you remember when I was little, and cheese was my enemy?" Then she goes on to tell me that I.B.S, is for people who can't stop their bowels from a boomin', and the bathroom might as well be their workspace. UNBEPOOPABLE! The direct opposite of what's happening to me! In return I ask her, "So, I'm just constipated then?! That's it?", and she's like, "Well yeah, duh!" This is when I went ape S!#@, figuratively.
I violently raced to the computer to change everything I already had said, but something came over me like....doesn't matter, what matters is that you matter. I want everyone to see it all. No secrets and lies here in this blog, just pure truths! So I left it.
I ask you to please laugh with me, and not too much at me. Thank you.
DATE 1/8/2011- I went, but I really didn't get a good look.
POO RATING- 2.7
No comments:
Post a Comment